Remember John Belucci? It was found by autopsy that he was already dead in five major organs -- he was a walking corpse who would have died of "natural causes' within the next two weeks anyway. He had managed to dissipate himself to death by the age of 33. He was a fine example of a "goodie-getter".
This is a pattern in which the individual is in effect "waiting for rigor mortis" and trying to have the very best time they can while they "live hard, die young, and leave a good looking corpse". They systematically destroy all out-routes and spin the "Russian roulette chamber" time after time after time.
HOW DID THEY GET THIS WAY?
They received multitudinous direct and indirect messages to the effect that they should do the world a favor and go play on the freeway. They were regarded as "in the way", and for convenience reasons they were told to entertain themselves as long as they HAD to be around. The family was utterly unconcerned with their welfare and needs, and they were made very, very aware that the family and the world would be MUCH better off if they weren't in it.
Usually, this type of pattern emerges out of an overwhelmed and over-populated marginal existence family culture where the individual was the "straw that broke the camel's back" or the one they couldn't press into survival service or for some other reason they just couldn't bring themselves to give a damn about them. These parents do a lot of hedonism-induction by doing the "Here, take this lollipop and shut up!" convenience-parenting and inconvenience-messaging pattern to the max.
However, there are some non-devastation families where this outcome occurs, as in the case of Belucci. In this scenario, the individual ends up in the same role for more personalized and family system reasons. Due to whatever unique qualities the individual has, the family reacts by excluding them from the system and the situation, so they become the "living dead one" among them, almost not noticed unless they had to be physically worked around to get something done or to go somewhere. And as in the case of the marginal family, they are massively hedonism-induced and inconvenience-messaged. And the same injunction is given loud and clear: "Why don't you do the world a favor and . . .?"
WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?
"Goodie-getters" are on death row and they know it. So they are systematically commitment-avoidant and they are superb slide-by artists -- in a "Why bother?" pattern. There's no tomorrow for them, and they are nihilistic, negativistic and non-involved. They do a settle-for substitute self-support thing because Mom's attention wasn't even available. They assume that they deserve it because it started right away and they have had plenty of messages that they do.
Their basic feeling is massive self-hatred in reaction to the extreme rejection and hostility of their family towards them. They feel that they have absolutely no right to live, though there is always the slim hope of a reprieve from the family. As time goes by and the handwriting on the wall becomes unavoidably clear, they start looking for the merciful (though unpredictable) end to come.
They are in effect running from massive self-hatred and suicidal internal imperatives. So they go for a "pseudo-joy ride", "dissipation blues man/mama" and "bridge-burning" lifestyle. They found out that all commitments lead to punishment, and so they gave up on it. That led to considerable resentment, which leads to their being particularly prone to negating, demeaning and denigrating anything and everything.
HOW DO THEY FUNCTION?
"Goodie-getters" are either "stone-turners" or "bridge-burners". If they are "stone-turning", they push limits and endanger themselves continuously, but in such a manner as to perhaps elicit enough concern to make it possible for them to re-decide on their death script. However, for this to work, they have to have enough ego resources to look to having a future, and they need the resources of a super-structured and probably locked live-in treatment center to work them through their enormous resistances and self-hatreds.
If they are "bridge-burning", they live out a systematic self-destructive and death-defying lifestyle, and they systematically eliminate all possible resources and "out-routes" from their dreary destiny. They become horrendously demanding, with an immediacy-bound, massively hedonistic total live-for-the-instant behavioral system with no holds barred and no concern for consequences for anyone, but especially for themselves. They can't stand an instant without a goodie when they are in this mode. As a result, there is the ever-present possibility of a sudden end brought about by one too many impetuous and impulsive moves.
The "bridge-burner" goes for super-self-destructive short term goodies at the expense of themselves and the environment indiscriminately as they "mark time" waiting for the inevitable ending. They occupy themselves totally with engineered irrelevant strokes of an excitement-seeking and super-thrills and chills nature, such as race car driving, hang-gliding, bridge-jumping, etc. They are absolute "titillation-addicts'.
They go for short-term gains at the expense of long term outcomes in a systematically self-destructive pattern. Death is a forgone conclusion as a "deserved fate", and so they are totally uninterested in positive future stuff. As might be expected, they don't learn from experience except further self-destruction skills. They are also into "I'm not into that right now" and "We are not amused" in reaction to anything sensible or future-related. All they want to do is get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.
They begin manifesting more and more overtly and extremely their fulminatingly furious rage at the world for their plight, and their exploits become increasingly outrageous and destructive. Their escapades and thrill-grabbing take on more and more of a cemetery-seeking quality. They are totally maniacally driven and intensely termination-seeking in an ever-accelerating downward spiral. It usually results in the individual's not living past childhood or adolescence, but if they do make it into adulthood, they usually end up in "total down and out" situations like skid row after a spectacular descent down the shit-chute to oblivion via the most excruciatingly exciting and dramatic experiences they could possibly engineer.
HOW CAN THEY BE HELPED?
Intervention with them requires a "brick wall of reality" in the context of a loving and insight-inducing milieu therapy program that prevents their super-self-destructive activities. They also need future-building and responsibility-taking training. Almost invariably, they require a relationship therapy figure to in effect re-parent them during their stay in the program. Unfortunately, anything short of such a total push program will not make a dent.
While in the program, they need work on the hedonistic immediacy-bound self-endangering pattern. To deal with that requires a small-steps success-ladder commitment progression process. It also requires something like a l2 step program for "live hard and die young" people as a means of working through all their pain and rage at their whole life history and potential outcome.
Even with all this, though, this is a very pessimistic prognosis script. They are so self-revolted by all of the massive and crushing rejection from their formative "God figures", that it almost takes a miracle to break them out of their determined downward spiral.
WHAT IS THEIR PURPOSE?
Since this severe a lifescript is almost invariably a younger soul choice of destiny with the goal of the maximization of intensity and learning from negativity, most of them do not have any interest in what the rest of the world is doing or in what they could do for the rest of the world or for themselves, for that matter.
But for a minority of them who are sufficiently soul-developed to be able to derive more from a life history like this, there is the possibility of their responding to treatment and life experiences, and to thereby come to the outcome of a zestful joi de vivre and bon vivante exuberant enthusiasm lifestyle in which they thoroughly enjoy a life of fun and fancy. They can become a kind of "(wo)man about town", so to speak, especially if they can tap into money somehow or if they can be so charming and entertaining that others don't mind picking up the tab. They can even form long term involvements and investments, and if they are a really old soul, they could even teach from their extraordinary depth and breadth of experience.
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