Have you ever seen a mother bird feeding her young? There they are, mouths wide open, pushing, shoving and shrillingly demanding whatever morsel is in mom's mouth at the moment, with not the slightest regard for anyone or anything else. This is the perfect picture of the "baby bird" in action. They are totally self-immersed and selfish, and they are incapable of concern for anything but their whim of iron. It is the "spoiled brat" pattern.
HOW DID THIS COME ABOUT?
The "baby bird" is the resultant of "pushover parenting", and the result is a spoiled brat. The parents end up "giving them enough rope to hang themselves" in their parenting pattern. It quickly becomes a "whim of iron" meets "spagetti-spine" situation. "I want, therefore I get!" becomes their lifestyle, and the parents find it easier to give in and to protect the individual from the consequences of his/her behavior than to face the furies of a sizable infant. Their whole approach can be characterized as, "Well, . . . if you must . . .".
WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?
Their whole orientation is that "The world owes me a living, a lavish, and a luxury, and it has no right to place requirements, restrictions or responsibilities on me!". "How come?" is the call of the "baby bird" as in, "How come I have to . . .?", "How come he gets to . . .?", and "How come we always . . .?". The hedonic value of whatever is going down moment to moment is all that matters to them, and they are total infants who can't see one second ahead or farther than the end of their nose.
HOW DO THEY FUNCTION?
They are a coercive demander and responsibility-deflector who lives in a hand-to-mouth and milk-the-moment lifestyle. They are compulsive takers and "I-me-mine!" types, and they will go to great and incessant extremes to get what they want and to persist in their demands and cop outs. They refuse to grow up or to give up.
HOW CAN THEY BE HELPED?
A "brick wall" in which they are not allowed to "get away with ANYTHING" is the intervention called for here. This teaches them that carrying their load and contributing their bit feels good, by means of forcing them to try it so they can find out they like it. They also find that they have what it takes to make it. They have a good thing going, and they won't give that up unless they see they have to. But bottom line, they are a decent sort who does want to be stopped and redirected into constructive channels. They resist at first, but they ultimately like it, and the caring human being comes out and joins the human race with enthusiasm.
WHAT IS THEIR PURPOSE?
They have spent their life cajoling and coercing things they want from the environment, and when they break free of the "infante terrible" process, that experience can be put to good use. They then become an imaginative hustler for good causes, and they are an effective system-mover, situation-exploiter and outcome-generator for the greater community and cosmic good -- and they get a lot of goodies as they do so.
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